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Prince Charles - (QUOTE):
"The whole of the 20th century has always put the car at the centre. So by putting the pedestrian first, you create these liveable places I think, with more attraction and interest and character ... liveability."
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THE DAILY TELEGRAPH - Saturday 3 January, 2009

A TWO WAY STREET?

A TWO WAY STREET?

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Paul Pottinger

Daily Telegraph - Thursday, January 03, 2008 at 06:16pm

 


Stop blaming motorists and counsel pedestrians on safety. 

Sydney Lord Mayor Clover Moore (did you vote for her?) advocates turning the city into a vast pedestrian mall apparently based on Copenhagen. (Listen I was there recently. The only reason everyone can get about on pushbikes is that there are fewer people in the whole country than in the David Jones Food Hall at any given lunchtime.)

A serial quote machine calling himself Harrison Scrupulous, or something equally unlikely, wants to reduce the speed limit to, oh about, 1908 AD.

Apparently, privately owned self-propelled vehicles have no place in the 21st century. People putting one foot in front of the other have the righteousness of way at all times.

So why canít anyone in this city cross the road?

Something sinister is literally afoot.

In the classic 1956 horror flick, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, aliens send seed pods containing creatures that can assume the exact physical likeness of anyone they choose. But the pod peopleís sub humanity is betrayed by the mindless conformity of their behaviour and absence of normal human responses.

Now Sydneyís population is being gradually taken over by the i-Pod people.

Seldom does a day pass when we havenít had to emergency brake in order not to splatter one of these barely sentient entities as they step heedlessly from the kerb. You see them in their dozens, milling in a sort of sensorily deprived daze.

They sport cranially mounted units, plugged directly into the cerebral cortex. Others have hand held communication devices permanently attached to their lughole.

These evidently deprive them of the ability to move their heads laterally, though some acknowledge the existence of a sharply braking vehicle with a contemptuous sideways glance or upright middle finger.

Another theory is that these devices gradually suck out the victimís IQ until it barely exceeds that of a parking inspector.

As someone for whom getting paid depends on driving cars (and would have to drive to work anyway because of the hopelessness of public transport) Iím getting just a touch peeved by pod people flouting the law.

At least I think itís illegal to stroll out against traffic lights or oncoming cars. Given that NSW is hell bent on collecting revenue from the roads, why not position a few plod people from the Highway Patrol on the corner of, say, Liverpool and George streets and have them dish out citations?

Should jaywalkers be fined or simply sentenced to a stretch as school crossing guard?